Wednesday, January 23, 2008

as if the world didn't have enough hate...

so, as many of you already know, heath ledger died yesterday. i'm saddened, yes. he was young, attractive, and had a promising future. this was cut short.

so this morning, i am riding with a friend to work, and she mentions that fred phepls, the bigoted fuck that runs the Westboro Baptist Church in kansas, he announced that he and his congregation will be picketing ledger's funeral because "ledger thought it was great fun defying god (in reference to brokeback mountain)."

what the fuck is this guy's deal?

i strongly encourage all 12 of you that read my blog to visit some of the websites that phelps runs. some are somewhat humorous, in the sense that this guy clearly has too much free time, but others are somewhat alarming. he has a clock counting how many days matthew shepard has been in hell among other things.

http://www.godhatesfags.com/
http://www.godhatesamerica.com/
http://www.thesignsofthetimes.net/
http://www.godhatessweden.com/
http://www.godhatescanada.com/
http://www.godhatesireland.com/
http://www.godhatesmexico.com/
http://www.hatemongers.com/
http://www.americaisdoomed.com/
http://www.yourpastorisawhore.com/
http://www.godistheterrorist.com/
http://www.smellthebrimstone.com/
http://www.fredthemovie.com/
http://www.priestsrapeboys.com/
http://blogs.godhatesamerica.com/


i wrote an email out to friends regarding this whole "picketing" plan and the more i think about it, the bigger the pit in my stomach gets. its sickening to think that someone can be filled with this much hatred and anger.

i was born and raised catholic but in the last few years i have distanced myself from the church. i found it difficult to accept something into my life that couldn't accept my life/lifestyle. i always did, and still do, believe that jesus/god/whoever it is, is accepting no matter what you are, who you believe in, what you believe, etc.

i really am kinda at a loss for words about this...(which is a first for me)

maybe i'll have more to say later. check out some of the websites if you can....

word.

Monday, January 21, 2008

i have a dream

so to comment in the spirit of martin luther king jr...i blog.

so, i went and saw Mad Money last night with ayoub. in a possibly related note, i may have caught a cold. not sure, but i think katie holmes, queen la-queefa and diane keeton are to blame.

but in all seriousness, the movie wasn't that bad. it kinda made me want to rob the Federal Reserve...seriously.

why does that happen? What is it that when you watch something about robbing banks, or selling drugs, or any sort of crime, you want to do that for a living? (does that make sense?)
allow me to further explain...

example 1: BLOW (the movie, not the drug)

maybe it's the thrill of the sale, trafficking, possession, or whatever...when you watch how much money they make in that movie, you can only want to get in on the action. that shits crazy. it's a fact that when you watch this in a group of people, someone will think to themselves, "man, how am i not doing this...look at all that money....i could have that..." (it's true...someone will think of this/say it).

example 2: Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

i don't need to explain. the title says it all...

so, the movie made me want to steal money...i won't. i hope...

so, tonight...let's talk about tonight...
rtb is actually going to try to record for the first time. we are talking a serious recording too...we need something that we can start to hand out to people to get them interested in us. keep your fingers crossed, and in honor of martin luther king jr...i will eat chicken and drink 40's all day.

peace

Friday, January 11, 2008

happy friday

so...yea. i was down in the dumps last night....especially the second half of the day.

leave it to a sent im to brighten my day up.

started talking to an old a friend of a friend, and we just had ourselves a nice old time. Long story short, i went to bed last night feeling wonderful and in a better head space than i had been before. i totally overreacted with what happened with the hetero gentleman, and this is something i always do...i get in a huff and am moody until eventually brings me out of it. man i'm a woman.

so, submitted my resume the other day...now the tough part of waiting and hoping they contact me. i am not getting my hopes up, but at the same time, i am a little more optimistic this time around. speaking with a friend the other day, he even commented about how i am in a better head space and how much better my resume was. again, not going to get my hopes up too much. whatever happens happens. no regrets.

can i say how much i love grace woods. the girl brightens my day...she is such a gem. i get to sit in with grace and her band the grace woods trio for a song during their cd release party. this is both a thrill and an honor to be able to play with them. I wish them the best of luck in their future as a band, and look forward to sharing another venue with them.

as for the weekend, i'm heading to sac tomorrow night, then coming back monday afternoon/evening...working tuesday...mac world weds.....jury duty (ha ha...duty) thursday....work/jury duty friday...(the verdict is still out on this one....ah shit i'm witty).

other than that...i'm content with life at the moment.

peace out.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

sigh....wrong again

so, the guy i mentioned in the last blog,

i was wrong. straight.

i always seem to do this...it's not like i try to find straight guys attractive, but there is something about them that is so....enticing.

I met him nearly 3 years ago at a concert. we talked, got along, smoked, laughed....

i asked him later if he was gay, he never responded. i figured that was a no.

fast forward to last friday...at my show...

there he was, still beautiful, still smiling, still remembering me.
we talked, laughed, smoked, got along...

but i misread it...as usual...like there was something more there. He was touchy...i was confused. He seemed interested in getting me alone....wrong again.

i kinda knew that this wasn't going to happen, but i was trying to convince myself that i was wrong.

on the upside, at least i didn't have to ask him if he was into guys...he answered it for me.

so, i was going to see if he wanted to go see a show this coming saturday night...which would have been a day before i met him 3 years ago...not as some aniversary bullshit, but more as friends, but he said he's busy. as a result, i'm going to sac to see my best friend (and one of the few people brave enough to live with me) brett. if anyone can pull me from the hands of depression, it's the gutman.

but to close out...

i don't blame anyone, especially this guy...he's awesome and i'm thankful to have him as a friend....even if that's it.

Sunday, January 6, 2008

SICKY McSICKERSON

everyone seems to be getting sick...myself included.

i'm congested like hell and nothing really seems to be doing the trick. so, today i will be relaxing and taking it easy. perhaps some law and order, little pot, perhaps some food...

also, i'm in the process of trying to uncover the truth about a guy i recently ran into again after 2 years....

more to follow later.

Friday, January 4, 2008

just a light drizzle this am

uh....it's fucking rain balls here.

we have a gig tonight and i can never figure out why the weather seems to fuck with us so much.

so, yesterday was just kind of a dull day for me. i worked on my resume and tried to get as much stuff in order as i could, but it was hard to focus on stuff. i was thinking about tonight's gig and all of our songs, the changes, the stage set up, the load in/load out, the lighting, the mix, the mics, the words to the songs, etc...

i had a band practice with one of my other bands last night and i realized my energy was lower than usual...and it worried me...i noticed that i wasn't hitting the drums with my normal exuberance....

is this a warning sign? let's hope not. we go on at 10 tonight, so lets just hope that all goes well.

more later...when i'm not so fucking tired.

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

resume finished

now i'm just trying to get the final kinks out of it...

then it's submission time....

keep those fingers crossed.

ps...couldn't fall asleep at all yesterday until i finally passed out at 11:30 pm. i never left my apartment/bed all day either.

definition of a winner: me

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

huh...so this is what death feels like

to begin, happy new year. 2007 is gone like my sexual appeal and 2008 is in like ....well, whatever is in right now.

so, the title of today's entry...

that's how i feel. yes i know that you are not supposed to drink copious amounts of alcohol, but you're also not supposed to pick a scab.....however, we do both because they are oh so fun.

quick run through of the night.

6 pm: walk with jake to take the 24 bus to somewhere, switch buses and end up in the marina.
6:30 pm: arrive at the beautiful apartment of K.P and her roommates to begin the festivities.

here's where it gets a) hazy b) random and c) memorable (also, i lost track of time, so we'll just stop listing those now)

people arrive, friends and strangers are greeted alike and everyone has a blast. the jungle juice is not really juice as it's more just a shit ton of alcohol poured into a giant bin with a serving apparatus attached to the side with string. the fridge is packed with beers, and there are enough teqitos to feed all the little starving children all over the word.*

*there were bagel bites but myself, patrick, and jake did our duty as americans to more or less eat somewhere around 50 bagel bites before the guests began arriving.

so we eat, we drink, we are merry. around 10:30 pm, a giant limo (this shit was big) shows up. roughly 25 of us pile in and we take off for Temple on 2nd and Howard to catch some great dj's...namely MoPo who we hired to spin at the Barnyard Booooogie back in november...which, on a side note, seems like so long ago.

so we are in the limo, laughing, drinking, having a blast and we get to the downtown portion of sf. suddenly, the limo crashes into something....and that something is an suv. the limo's airbags deploy and drinks spill everywhere. we are all kinda in shock and confused about what happened. being the steadfast and adorable leader that amanda is, we follow her instructions (actually, it might not have been her, but lets just glorify her anyways) to exit the limo...

out pour 20 something people on to Howard Street...the damage to the limo is legit...the radiator was leaking, the front end was all smashed in, and for the suv, we somehow managed to rip the spare tire off the back, as well as bang the shit out of this womans car. being as there was a strong belief that the limo driver may have been doing some celebrating himself, he didn't exit his car once, but instead, waited for us to exit, then drove off...with the pissed suv woman following behind...whether or not they settled things will remain a mystery to this tall, lanky fellow.

so we enter Temple after the long walk down Howard and this place is rocking. we stayed there for a while, danced, rang in the new year, danced, and.....i made out with some girl named megan....she was a great dancer and we were dancing up on the stage behind the dj's. it was awesome.

so, 2 am rolls around and MoPo goes on. he tears that shit apart. he has the potential to be one of the greatest dj's out there. i strongly encourage everyone who reads this blog....all three of you, four including my mom, to check him out.

http://www.musicv2.com/artist/motion_potion

so, 4 am (ish) arrives and we greet it with open arms. at this point, it's jake and i, and maybe 2 others at Temple still...at least in our group.

jake and i decide to fend for ourselves and find a cab...it takes us 35 minutes of walking up market street to finally get one.

we get to jake's and he realizes that he doesn't have his keys, so we break in by climbing through his window. finally around 4:30 am, i climb into his roommates bed and pass out, or try to...all i can hear is thumping bass echoing in my head...its still there right now.

the sun wakes me up at 7 am when i realize that jake's roommate's room has no curtains in it to protect my weakened body from the light.

i'm up...and with me, once i'm up, i'm up for good.

so, i dress myself, which was a struggle, grab my keys, make the bed and hit the road. i swing by walgreens (bless them for being open) and buy 4 strawberry c-monster odwalla drinks. this has become my new favorite...good by cool ranch doritos...hello odwalla.

i get home, still kinda shaky (i still am) and open my computer and start typing...

end scene.