Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Today

this shit is so gay.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

today

today is the day that i realized i had no soul.

there. i said it.

Monday, March 24, 2008

just another manic monday

just got back from Yoshi's. Awesome. The food, the atmosphere, the glass fish tank, everything was amazing.

let's just recap my day, shall we?

woke up, met fabes for coffee, starting reading through music contract information/management information, went out to dinner, blogged. all in all, a fun day.

this week is going to be an interesting one for me...i have some major hurdles up ahead that i'm going to need to overcome and to do so, i need to make sure i keep a positive mental picture, and an upbeat attitude.

that's really it for now...i'm having a beer and thinking about climbing into bed for a early nights sleep. more in the next round...

maybe if all 3 of my readers are lucky, something interesting will happen tomorrow.

peace

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

t-minus 3 seconds to self destruction...

why not blog.

it's been a while since i've sat down and actually written anything on this he blog, and i have a lot to rant and rave about.

let's start with cars. i'm getting to the point of not liking cars. reasons: got $100 parking ticket, car got broken into, car got slammed into by a woman driving too fast when i was at a stoplight, gas prices....everything with cars basically.

________________________________

this is where i ended last week (maybe 2 weeks ago) and here is where i pick up.

March 11th, 2008


i'm in a shitty mood. my life is more or less shitty decisions. i can seem to get anything right.

i made a stupid choice a couple weeks ago and as a result, put my well being in jeopardy. you would think that after something like that....one would learn their lesson.

not this guy...

i continually make stupid choices/mistakes and pay the price later. case in point...yesterday...another bonehead move.

I'm not sure why i do the stupid things i do...it's almost like on trying to ruin my life purposefully...though not directly. just one time, i want to make a choice where i know that there will be no bad repercussions against me. i'll let you all know if/when that ever happens...

...but don't get your hopes up. it's been 25 years of mistakes, and i'm still going strong in the fuck up department.

but enough about me...or is it...?

i've decided to list our my top 10 fears (although the order doesn't matter)...

10. walking/running zombies
9. the dark
8. kraft mac and cheese (specifically the cheese)
7. death
6. not being able to be successful
5. confrontation
4. losing friends (either through death/or me doing something to fuck up a friendship)
3. staying at my current job for much longer/finding a new job
2. being alone
1. never being confident/comfortable with myself/my actions/my choices, etc

i know...it's kind of a "pity party" blog and i'm sorry to subject you all to it, but i can't exactly vent to co-workers about the happenings of my life....being a catholic school and all...

so, i don't know what to do...i need to live my life, but i can't seem to do it right. i'm tired of hearing people say "well, this is how you learn lessons/now you know"

yea...no fucking shit i know. i appreciate my friends who bring their concerns up to me. i know it must be tough watching someone you care about self destruct....

almost as tough as actually self destructing...

Sunday, February 17, 2008

sorry...

haven't really been around lately...

i'll catch up soon. for now, enjoy this hot shit

105 Facts About You

1. EVER BEEN GIVEN AN ENGAGEMENT Ring? no

2. LONGEST RELATIONSHIP? 8 days in seventh grade

3. LAST GIFT YOU RECEIVED? phish dvd

4. EVER DROPPED A CELL PHONE? not really...it never leaves my hand

5. WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU WORKED OUT? went for a bike ride the other day...but i work at a dairy as well, so that's a work out right?

wait...does masturbation count?

6. THING(S) YOU SPEND A LOT OF MONEY ON? music and drum gear

7. LAST FOOD YOU ATE? pizza.

8. FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX? breast size, then teeth

9. ONE FAVORITE SONG? right this second or in general, cause right now i'l listening to live daft punk, but in general, i'd say anything by phish

10. WHERE DO YOU LIVE? frisco

11. HIGH SCHOOL YOU ATTENDED: acalanes in lafayette ca

12. CELL PHONE SERVICE PROVIDER: work: sprint personal: verizon

13. FAVORITE MALL STORE: Cinabon...or cinnabun...i don't really know

14. LONGEST JOB YOU HAD: um....working on a goat dairy...7 years and counting

15. DO YOU OWN A PAIR OF DICE? no

16. DO YOU PRANK CALL PEOPLE?: only at work....and to my parents

17. LAST WEDDING YOU ATTENDED: sisters

18. FIRST FRIEND YOU'D CALL IF YOU WON THE LOTTERY: brett...i'd leave a message

19. LAST TIME YOU SAW YOUR BEST FRIEND: last weekend/monday night

20. FAVORITE FAST FOOD RESTAURANT: the magic that is taco bell...

21. BIGGEST LIE YOU HAVE EVER HEARD: "i did not have sexual relations with that woman...." but seriously, i'm sure i've heard worse.

23. WHERE'S YOUR FAVORITE PLACE TO EAT WITH FRIENDS? mas saki

24. CAN YOU COOK? kinda

25. WHAT CAR DO YOU DRIVE?: Jeep Liberty (GO AMERICA!)

26. BEST KISSER: me

27. LAST TIME YOU CRIED?: after the week which consisted of me getting a $100 parking ticket, my car broken into, then getting rear ended by someone driving too fast

28. MOST DISLIKED FOODS: kraft easy mac....specifically the cheese

29. THING YOU LIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF: my tapeworm, tapey

30. THING YOU DISLIKE MOST ABOUT YOURSELF: too many to list

32. LONGEST SHIFT YOU HAVE WORKED AT A JOB?: 18 hours....yeah computer viruses

33. FAVORITE MOVIE? 13 days...i can watch that anytime

34. CAN YOU SING? yep

35. LAST CONCERT ATTENDED? willie nelson (amazing)

36. LAST KISS? jeez....no idea...(i've been sitting here actually thinking about this answer for 5 minutes)

37. LAST MOVIE RENTED: inconvenient truth (netflix). didn't watch it, just sent it back

38.ONE THING YOU NEVER LEAVE THE HOUSE WITHOUT: pants

39. FAVORITE VACATION SPOT: italy

43. LAPTOP OR DESKTOP COMPUTER?: laptop

44. FAVORITE COMEDIAN?: dave chappelle

45. DO YOU SMOKE? not cigs, but yes, crack

46. SLEEP WITH OR WITHOUT CLOTHES? depends on the night/company/alcohol consumption/etc

47. WHO SLEEPS WITH YOU EVERY NIGHT?: my pillow

48. DO LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIPS WORK?: maybe?

49. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BEEN PULLED OVER BY THE POLICE? 4-5

50. PANCAKES OR FRENCH TOAST? pancakes

51. DO YOU LIKE COFFEE?: yep

52 HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS? scrambled with hot dog...heart attack, here i come

53. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGY?: no

54. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?: alex k

55. LAST PERSON ON YOUR MISSED CALL LIST?: public safety at smc

56. WHAT WAS THE LAST TEXT MESSAGE YOU RECIEVED?: are you in the castro?

58. NUMBER OF PILLOWS?: 4.

59. ????? that is correct

60. PICK A LYRIC, ANY LYRIC: so let me get to the point, let's roll another joint. turn the radio to loud, i'm too alone to be proud. you don't know how it feels....to be me (tom petty)

61. WHAT KIND OF JELLY DO YOU LIKE ON YOUR PB & J?: uh...the kind that is honey. i don't like jelly

62. CAN YOU PLAY POOL?: sure

63. CAN YOU SWIM? sure

64. FAVORITE ICE CREAM?: choc or coffee

65. DO YOU LIKE MAPS? i guess...just not folding them

66. TELL ME A RANDOM FACT ABOUT YOURSELF: being alone is my biggest fear. second biggest fear....commitment

68. EVER ATTEND A THEME PARTY?: oh god yes...

69. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SEASON: end of summer/beginning of fall

70. LAST TIME YOU LAUGHED AT SOMETHING STUPID? our sound guy yelling HEY into the mic all the time

71. WHAT TIME DID YOU WAKE UP THIS MORNING ? 7am

72. BEST THING ABOUT WINTER?: jack frost nipping at your nose...and booze on your breath

73. LAST TIME A COP GAVE YOU A TICKET?: two thursdays ago, a parking ticket that is

75. NAME OF YOUR FIRST PET?: kitty girl (original i know...a female cat)

76. DO YOU THINK PIRATES ARE COOL OR OVERRATED?: it depends on how you mean a pirate....like the johnny depp pirate seems cool, but could get annoying really fast....but a real pirate could slit your throat and rape your mother and sisters....

hmm....i'll say butt pirates are cool.

77. WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS WEEKEND?? sat morning, working at goat dairy, then going to real job for 8 hours, then recording vocals for my band, then getting back to my apartment for the first time in 3 days, cleaning it, smoking a bowl with friends (about to happen...i'm so excited), then going to the east bay for music, then going to karaoke tonight...then working tomorrow morning at 9:30 am.

78. BIRTHDATE ? 8-31-1982

79. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE: happy

85. ARE YOU ON A LAPTOP?: yep. macbook pro for that ass

87. ARE YOU SMILING?: on the inside?

89. DO YOU MISS SOMEONE RIGHT NOW: yes

90. IF YOU COULD GO ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD WHERE WOULD YOU GO?: anywhere will do

92. ARE YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL?: no...would i go back if i could? maybe

93. DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH?: always...it changes as the day progresses...currently it would be on Jay Brannan. soooooo hot....want to touch the hiney...

94. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NAME? Mrs. Euphegenia Doubtfire

95. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR BATHING SUIT?: blue? maybe orange

96. DOES YOUR SCHOOL START IN AUGUST?: yep (i work at a college which begins in august)

97. DID YOU GO ON VACATION LAST MONTH?: mentally

98. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A CRUISE?: in the castro yes, on a boat, no

99. DO YOU HAVE A SISTER : two of them

100. ARE YOU UPSTAIRS?: kinda

101. ARE YOU IN LOVE?: i want to know what love is....i want you to show me. i want to feel what love is, i know you can show me

102. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN THE HOSPITAL? yep

103. DO YOU WISH YOU COULD SEE ANYONE PARTICULAR RIGHT NOW? sure do

104. WHAT JEWELRY ARE YOU WEARING? a cock ring. (actually no jewelry)

105. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO AFTER THIS SURVEY? dance like no one is watching.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

as if the world didn't have enough hate...

so, as many of you already know, heath ledger died yesterday. i'm saddened, yes. he was young, attractive, and had a promising future. this was cut short.

so this morning, i am riding with a friend to work, and she mentions that fred phepls, the bigoted fuck that runs the Westboro Baptist Church in kansas, he announced that he and his congregation will be picketing ledger's funeral because "ledger thought it was great fun defying god (in reference to brokeback mountain)."

what the fuck is this guy's deal?

i strongly encourage all 12 of you that read my blog to visit some of the websites that phelps runs. some are somewhat humorous, in the sense that this guy clearly has too much free time, but others are somewhat alarming. he has a clock counting how many days matthew shepard has been in hell among other things.

http://www.godhatesfags.com/
http://www.godhatesamerica.com/
http://www.thesignsofthetimes.net/
http://www.godhatessweden.com/
http://www.godhatescanada.com/
http://www.godhatesireland.com/
http://www.godhatesmexico.com/
http://www.hatemongers.com/
http://www.americaisdoomed.com/
http://www.yourpastorisawhore.com/
http://www.godistheterrorist.com/
http://www.smellthebrimstone.com/
http://www.fredthemovie.com/
http://www.priestsrapeboys.com/
http://blogs.godhatesamerica.com/


i wrote an email out to friends regarding this whole "picketing" plan and the more i think about it, the bigger the pit in my stomach gets. its sickening to think that someone can be filled with this much hatred and anger.

i was born and raised catholic but in the last few years i have distanced myself from the church. i found it difficult to accept something into my life that couldn't accept my life/lifestyle. i always did, and still do, believe that jesus/god/whoever it is, is accepting no matter what you are, who you believe in, what you believe, etc.

i really am kinda at a loss for words about this...(which is a first for me)

maybe i'll have more to say later. check out some of the websites if you can....

word.

Monday, January 21, 2008

i have a dream

so to comment in the spirit of martin luther king jr...i blog.

so, i went and saw Mad Money last night with ayoub. in a possibly related note, i may have caught a cold. not sure, but i think katie holmes, queen la-queefa and diane keeton are to blame.

but in all seriousness, the movie wasn't that bad. it kinda made me want to rob the Federal Reserve...seriously.

why does that happen? What is it that when you watch something about robbing banks, or selling drugs, or any sort of crime, you want to do that for a living? (does that make sense?)
allow me to further explain...

example 1: BLOW (the movie, not the drug)

maybe it's the thrill of the sale, trafficking, possession, or whatever...when you watch how much money they make in that movie, you can only want to get in on the action. that shits crazy. it's a fact that when you watch this in a group of people, someone will think to themselves, "man, how am i not doing this...look at all that money....i could have that..." (it's true...someone will think of this/say it).

example 2: Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

i don't need to explain. the title says it all...

so, the movie made me want to steal money...i won't. i hope...

so, tonight...let's talk about tonight...
rtb is actually going to try to record for the first time. we are talking a serious recording too...we need something that we can start to hand out to people to get them interested in us. keep your fingers crossed, and in honor of martin luther king jr...i will eat chicken and drink 40's all day.

peace